I don’t need to tell you that as a mother we are all constantly yearning for a bit more sleep or a bit more time to do some basic self-care because we’re all in the same boat here one way or another, you may have a child who sleeps beautifully during the night but that doesn’t mean that you’re not absolutely cream crackered by the end of the day. You may have a child who just seems to be nocturnal, clearly not getting the point that when the sun goes down they are meant to go down too but they may sleep better during the day. each one of our stories are different but we all have the same basic attributes. A little time away from our mini monsters is a healthy and more proactive way to recompose yourself, pressing the reset button is essential in our mothering lives.
I recently uploaded a raw Vlog up onto my IGTV account, this Vlog shows a powerful moment in time where I am probably at one of my lowest points, Emotional, worn out and packed to the brim with that mum guilt we all feel.
When we become mothers some of us never thought we would even feel this way, wondering which wave we will surf rather than be swallowed by. I certainly never thought I would feel so overwhelmed, all my life I thought I would be that mum who took it all in her stride lapping up the enjoyment at every moment, but the reality for me was it has taken me time to adjust. In fact, if I’m perfectly honest I’m still battling with the demons, I’m just managing it better and surviving a little more each day.
I broke down (once again) to my partner, shouting in frustration through lack of energy to hold an adult conversation and letting it all out. Floods of tears wiped clean my face of any trace of makeup even the waterproof mascara didn’t stand a chance! We came to an agreement that rather than an hour here and an hour there I would have a set one full day to myself to do whatever I wanted to do and so became the ritual of Daddy and Dylan Day. On a Saturday Daddy and Dylan go swimming, shopping, go out for lunch, they make a full day of it together so that I am left completely free to speed clean the house then spend the rest of my day going for coffee or doing a bit of much needed retail therapy, just to be able to feel normal again, regain some identity back. I’m a mother, yes and I love being a mother but I am also a person the time I get to myself is precious. When I come back home I feel rejuvenated, ready to take on the next week with all the bells and whistles that come with a head strong toddler!
I’m lucky enough to get this time to reset my batteries, if you’re feeling the strain do your best to get someone to take charge for the day so you can get out of the house and in the company of other friends or siblings. I can’t tell you how important it is to make some space in your life for YOU. I promise you it does wonders for your mental health, topping up on some positivity gives you the fire to cope that little bit better for the rest of the week. I’ve not had the luxury for 2 weeks now with Simon being away so I’m most definitely feeling the weight of my mood starting to push me down. He’s back tomorrow evening and I think I’m about ready to bolt out the door as soon as he puts the key in the lock! I’ll be running to the pub with HIS wallet in hand without so much as a glance behind me!!!
I hope if you’ve made it this far that you know that we are all out there somewhere feeling this strain at some points during our mothering careers. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and it’s OK to feel this way, it’s natural to feel claustrophobic from time to time Social media depicts a story of true happiness and wealth but the reality is that those are merely snapshots of the day and behind the viewfinder is a struggling mumma who’s still trying to find her way by not losing her identity through the tyrant of screams from her lovable (yet questionable) little bubba, but seeking the right help is the key to unlocking that balance you need to progress forward. Don’t slump in the shadows ladies, we’re not alone even when we think we are, we just haven’t met each other yet!